This article was published on Fri 16 Aug 2024. At the time of publishing, this article was true and accurate, however, over time this may have changed. Some links may no longer work. If you have any concerns about this please contact us

World Suicide Prevention Day is organised by the International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP). The purpose of this day is to raise awareness around the globe that suicide can be prevented. For more details click here.

Suicide is more widespread than you might think

1 in 5 people in England say they’ve had suicidal thoughts in their lifetime. Those who contemplate suicide often describe the intense feelings they have as hopeless, helpless, worthless, and desperate. Whatever the trigger, suicide may seem like the only solution to an unsolvable, painful problem. A suicidal person believes no one can help them and that the problem can’t be fixed.

There is no typical suicide victim. Suicide occurs across all ages, ethnicities, economic, and social boundaries and in both genders. But some situations do increase the possibility that people will try to take their own life. The risk of suicide rises with factors such as having a mental health disorder, alcoholism and substance abuse, a family history of suicide or mental health condition, physical or emotional abuse, a physical illness with chronic pain, isolation, and loneliness or a major loss, which could be work, money or relationship related.

Individuals with multiple debt problems are at a ‘significantly higher risk of suicide’ than those with just one problem debt. According to the Money and Mental Health Policy Institute over 420,000 people in problem debt considered taking their own life in England last year, while more than 100,000 people in debt actually attempt suicide annually*.

Most people who are feeling depressed or desperate enough to consider suicide give clues as to how they are feeling. These may be difficult to see but knowing some of the warning signs can help you be better prepared to help someone who is struggling. Talking openly about your concerns may help to prevent a death.

There are often warning signs that someone may be thinking about suicide

Here are some signs to look for:

• Spoken or written threats of suicide
  If the person talks about dying by suicide or about feeling trapped and not knowing a way out of their situation or has written notes or letters about it. Never assume the person, doesn’t really mean it, always take it very seriously.
  
• High-risk behaviour
  People who are thinking about suicide sometimes hurt themselves by engaging in drug or alcohol abuse, self-harm, and even criminal behaviour.  Suicidal people may drive recklessly and put themselves and others in danger.
  
• Withdrawal and loss of interest
  They no longer enjoy activities that they once did, isolate themselves from family or friends, don’t take care of their appearance, lack energy, or find it hard to cope with everyday things.
  
• Recent important losses
  A person may become suicidal as a result of problems or changes that make them feel helpless. These may include divorce, loss of child custody, job loss or the death of a loved one. For a child or a teenager they may be having a difficult time at school with friends, teachers, workload, or parental expectations.
  
• Major changes in sleep or eating patterns
  Excessive fatigue, not being able to sleep or sleeping much more than usual, or a loss of appetite or eating much more than usual are all signs that someone may be suffering from depression.
  
• Obsession with death
  Suicidal people sometimes show an unusual interest in death by the books or movies they choose or the websites they visit.
  
• They may do online research about ways to kill themselves
  Having decided to die, they may give away possessions. They may also suddenly be in a happier or calmer mood as they make these plans.

If you believe or even suspect that someone you care about may be suicidal, don’t ignore your suspicions. If you notice any of these warning signs in a friend, relative or loved one, encourage them to talk about how they are feeling. Starting a conversation about suicide can be a difficult thing to do, especially when you’re worried about upsetting someone who might already be in a sensitive place emotionally.

How to help someone

• Offer support
  Find a safe, private place to voice your concerns, speak to the person and better assess the situation. Do not agree to keep suicidal information secret, remind the person you are there to help support them. Don’t leave a suicidal person alone. If you suspect that someone who doesn’t live near you is suicidal, call the person’s local police and ask that a wellness check be done on the person.
  
• Be direct
  Don’t be afraid to bring up suicide. There is absolutely no evidence to suggest that talking about it will make the person take his or her life. Talk openly about feelings and concerns. Ask if they have a suicide plan. It’s important to find out this information to pass on to a professional.
  
• Listen. Be non-judgmental
  Don’t tell them not to think about suicide or minimise their problems. Give as much time as needed to talk and let them know you’re there to offer support.
  
• Remove all dangers
  Any prescription and non-prescription drugs or medication or firearms should be removed from their home.
  
• Contact a GP, counsellor, or psychiatrist
  Often these resources can direct you to community resources, such as support groups.

Helping someone who is feeling suicidal can be extremely stressful. Make sure you have support for yourself from friends, family, or a trained counsellor.

Helping a Teenager Who May Be at Risk of Suicide

The teenage years can be a difficult time for you and your child. Adolescents may break rules or experiment with different behaviour as they try to establish their independence. As a parent, it’s important to know when your teenager’s feelings are a normal part of growing up and when they are putting themselves at risk. By staying involved in your child’s life, talking openly together, and knowing the warning signs of suicide, you can help deter at-risk behaviour and make sure your child gets the help they need.

Suicide is a tragic occurrence that leaves those affected wondering how it could have happened, and how could it have been prevented. Those who are struggling with thoughts of suicide might show outward signs, and it’s important that friends, family, colleagues, and managers are aware of the signs that someone might be at risk of attempting suicide.

The suicide of someone you love can be devastating. You may have many intense emotions all at once. You may feel shocked, confused, angry, or guilty. You may wonder if you could have done something to prevent the suicide.

These thoughts and emotions are normal, and, although it will take time, with the right support, you can move forward with your life.

There isn’t a correct way of grieving after a suicide. Grief is a process of healing that people experience in different ways. Even if someone you love died months or years ago, your grief may resurface at certain times of the year, like birthdays or on the anniversary of their death. Your grief may never be entirely over, but it can become gradually more manageable. Try not to set time limits on your grief or compare your feelings to anyone else’s.

As you mourn, you may feel these emotions:

• Shock
  Feelings of numbness and disbelief are common when someone dies by suicide. Right after a loss, people often cope with their grief by denying the reality.
  
• Anger
  After a suicide, you may blame doctors or others for not preventing the death. You may blame the person who died for leaving you, or you may feel angry with the world.
  
• Guilt
  Intense grief makes it hard to think clearly, so, you may at times have thoughts that you know aren’t realistic. You may dwell on all the “what ifs” even if you know that you did the best you could at the time.
  
• Despair
  You may feel very sad, lonely, or helpless. You may wonder how you will ever cope without the person who died. The sadness of losing them in such a tragic way may never completely disappear, but there are ways to deal with the pain. Be patient. Don’t try to rush the healing process. We all deal with grief in different ways.

Suicide can affect anyone. If you suspect someone you know is considering suicide, act quickly to get them professional support. Or if you find yourself contemplating it, contact a counsellor, medical professional or one of the organisations listed below immediately.

Where to get help:

• Samaritans For anyone with suicidal thoughts or those concerned with suicide. Call the helpline on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org.
  
• Childline A helpline for children and young people in the UK. Calls are free on 0800 1111 and the number won’t show up on your phone bill.
  
• Papyrus For children and young people under the age of 35 who are experiencing thoughts of suicide. Also, for anyone concerned that a young person could be thinking about suicide. Call 0800 068 41 41, text 07786 209 697 or email pat@papyrus-uk.org.
  
• Students Against Depression is a website for students who are depressed, have a low mood or are having suicidal thoughts.
  
• National Bullying Helpline is a website for both children and adults affected by bullying.
  
• Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) This resource is specifically for men. Call the helpline on 0800 58 58 58 from 5pm to midnight 365 days a year.
  
• NHS Help for suicidal thoughts.
  
• The Silver Line A confidential, free helpline for older people across the UK. Call them on 0800 4 70 80 90 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

If you believe that someone is in immediate danger, call 999 or bring them in to your nearest accident and emergency hospital service. You can also call Samaritans on 116 123.

Police Mutual Services

We’ve teamed up with PayPlan**, one of the UK’s leading free debt advice providers, who offer free and confidential advice to anyone in serious financial difficulties. They’re able to advise you on a range of debt solutions suited to your individual circumstances, helping to protect you and your family with a sustainable way to manage your debt.

Get free and confidential help to combat your debt, call PayPlan** on 0800 197 8433.

* Money and Health Policy Institute report ‘a silent killer’ Published December 2018

**PayPlan is a trading name of Totemic Limited. Totemic Limited is a limited company registered in England, Company Number: 2789854. Registered Office: Kempton House, Dysart Road, PO Box 9562, Grantham, NG31 0EA. Totemic Limited is authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority. Financial Conduct Authority Number: 681263.

This article was published on Fri 16 Aug 2024. At the time of publishing, this article was true and accurate, however, over time this may have changed. Some links may no longer work. If you have any concerns about this please contact us

Know Your Numbers Week encourages people to get their blood pressure tested. Many people have high blood pressure without knowing it which can cause other health problems.  As well as understanding your blood pressure, it’s also important to understand your cholesterol, blood sugar and body mass index.

The more you know about these key health numbers the more you can do to take steps to look after yourself and lead a long and healthy life.

This guide will provide you with some self‑tests that you can do yourself at home and also information on how to improve your overall wellbeing.

Your weight

The vast majority of people will know if they are carrying too much weight or not. If you don’t own a set of scales, then you can use the waist to hip ratio. All you need to do is measure your hip at the widest point and your waist at just above the belly button. Then what you do is divide your waist size by your hip size.

• A ration of 0.95 or below for men is good and 0.80 and below for women.
• 1.0 or higher for men and 0.85 or higher for women is greater risk of poor health.

Alternatively, you can just measure your waist:

• The ideal waist size is 35 inches for men and 32.5 inches for women.
• A waist size for men of 40 inches (102cm) and 35 inches (88cm) for women increases the risk of diabetes and heart disease significantly.

Waist size is important because it’s all about where you store your fat. If you store your fat around the waist then its sitting around your vital organs such as the liver and kidneys, which will increase the chance of diabetes and cholesterol.

Blood pressure

You can get your blood pressure checked with your GP or you can buy your own machine for around £20 to £30. Your heart responds to virtually everything that happens in your body, and you can learn a lot from blood pressure by analysing the readings. Although the most common way is to look at the actual level of the diastolic and systolic readings e.g. 120/80 the other useful analysis is to look at the pulse pressure difference which is the difference between the higher and lower figures.

If the difference is continually above 60 e.g. 140/80 – then it could be an indicator of arteriosclerosis or hardening of the arteries. The reason being that the arteries are having to expand too far and if they do that continually they lose their elasticity.

If you don’t have a blood pressure machine, you can simply do pulse testing either manually yourself by counting the number beats from the pulse (against your neck or inside your wrist) or through a free app on your phone.

Your pulse is an important test and it’s a good idea to get to understand your pulse. A healthy person should have a resting pulse rate of between 60 to 100 beats per minute.

However, it is possible to have a resting pulse rate as low as 35 if you are extremely fit. If you are not extremely fit and regularly have a heart rate outside of 60-100 beats per minute then you should visit your G.P.

When you understand your average pulse rate, and for example you know that your pulse is regularly in the low 60’s and all of a sudden, its 85 – then unless you know why it’s changed so radically (85 over the course of 3 days) then again it may be worth calling your G.P.

If you are taking your pulse manually you will start to understand how it feels and if it feels irregular then again, it’s something that you might raise with your G.P.

One of the causes of high pulse pressure can be stress and it can be improved by doing relaxation breathing exercises.

The other home test you can do, is a urine test, urine analysis sticks can easily be purchased from the chemist. They are easy to use and can tell you a host of information, particularly around blood glucose, testing for diabetes but also kidney and liver issues. It’s important not to misinterpret the results and to take tests over a period of a few days to ensure that the issue wasn’t just something passing through for example a cold or virus.

Additionally, it’s important to ensure that you are drinking plenty of water and keeping hydrated. A lot of kidney and liver issues are due to dehydration skewing the results.

Cancer self-tests

Everyone should be checking their skin regularly for changes to moles and spots that don’t appear to heal. We should all be checking our breasts, testicles, armpits, neck, and groin for lumps.

It’s recommended that you keep a record of your checking and in the case of skin checks don’t be afraid to take photo’s so that you have got something to refer back to in the future to assess changes.

Additionally, other symptoms to look out for are blood in the urine and stool, regular pain in the kidneys and stomach without any apparent reason and increased need to go to the toilet at night when you haven’t been drinking excessively.

If you are worried about anything, then ensure you make an appointment to see your GP.

How to stay healthy

Exercise is the key, if you don’t like exercise or don’t have a lot of time, then try high intensity training. For example, use an exercise bike for 10 minutes every day, within this 10 mins, do 30 seconds of sprinting followed by 30 seconds of relaxing riding.

You could also do the same thing by sprinting and walking between lamp posts or on a step box. Or do weight bearing exercise in the same way, using quite light weights, but fast reps.

Weight bearing exercise is important because you lose about 1% of muscle every year over the age of 40. Muscle speeds us metabolism and metabolism burn fat.

High intensity exercise was designed by Dr Tabata and research shows that it is a form of exercise that is very good at reducing blood sugar and therefore avoiding diabetes.

Another big reason for increasing exercise is to do with stress. Exercise can work as a distraction for your brain constantly either thinking about work or other issues. Exercise helps people to switch off.

As well as exercise, it’s also important to relax. Mindfulness is great to help you switch off, as many people struggle to do this on their own, apps such as Headspace and Thrive tend to help focus the mind.

Relaxation techniques are not just about the brain they also really help the heart. Reading is also a great way to relax, it can help distract the brain from more stressful issues.

For more details read our stress awareness guide here.

Nutrition

Nutrition is now more important than ever, having a balanced diet help ensure we have the correct nutrients. Dark green leafy vegetables and colourful fruits and especially fruits with red in them are can really make a difference. These will ensure you get vitamin C, vitamin D and Zinc on board.

It’s also important to reduce the amount of processed fats you eat, as these types of fat stick around your waste and increase issues such as heart disease. These types of fats are found in many take-aways.

Water is massively undervalued, every organ in the body needs hydrating, water is needed in order for the fat burning process to work, depending on your size and how much exercise you are doing, you need to drink 2-3 litres per day.

Our bodies were not designed to sit down on chairs, sitting down as much as we do fundamentally squash’s our skeleton, which can lead to musculoskeletal problems.

What we need to do is move more, the HSE recommend a 10-minute movement break from sitting down every hour. The key is to try to introduce movement into the daily routine e.g., take all telephone calls standing up where you can and taking a break for lunch away from the desk and go for a walk.

For more information read our Healthy Eating guide here.

Boosting your immune system

Having a strong immune system is important in order to be able to fight off a variety of illnesses and infections. In order to increase the ability to produce antibodies and ensure that your T-cell levels (lymphocytes) are not reduced you can:

• Increase your level of vitamin D – spend time outside, drink fortified milk, eat fortified cereal, salmon, mackerel, and sardines.
• Increase your level of vitamin C – eat plenty of citrus fruits like grapefruit and oranges, Red Bell Peppers (3 times the vitamin C of an orange), Broccoli, Garlic, Ginger, Spinach, Yoghurt, Almonds, Sunflower Seeds, Turmeric, Green Tea, Papaya, Kiwi, Poultry, Shellfish (it’s important to take vitamin C daily because your body can’t store it).
• Reduce the amount of alcohol you drink, as it damages the immune system.
• Ensure you relax, exercise, and have good quality sleep as all of these boost the immune system.
• Take an immune busting vitamin tablet every day.

Sleep

Many people use their mobile phones for alarms and look at them right up until we turn the lights off, without giving their minds time to start to relax. Before going to sleep it’s important to be as relaxed as possible, the room to be dark and for it to be the right temperature.

It’s also important to have coping skills on how to relax your minds if you do wake up in the middle of the night, in order to maximise the relaxation of the nervous, respiratory, and cardiovascular systems.

For more information read our Sleep guide here.

This article was published on Fri 16 Aug 2024. At the time of publishing, this article was true and accurate, however, over time this may have changed. Some links may no longer work. If you have any concerns about this please contact us

We spend about a third of our lives asleep. Sleep is essential, it is as important to our bodies as eating, drinking, and breathing, and is vital for maintaining good mental and physical health. Sleeping helps us to recover from mental as well as physical exertion.

When you’re well rested, you think more clearly, feel better, and have more stamina and energy. But many people don’t get the 7-9 hours of sleep that doctors recommend. Lack of sleep, even for a few days, can leave you feeling irritable, frustrated, and forgetful. Regular poor sleep can put you at risk of serious medical conditions, including obesity, heart disease and diabetes and it may shorten your life expectancy.

According to many surveys, around one third of the population suffer with sleep problems. Lack of sleep can affect mood, energy and concentration levels, relationships, and the ability to stay awake and function at work during the day. A solid night’s sleep is essential for a long and healthy life. A variety of factors can cause poor sleep, including health conditions such as sleep apnoea. But in most cases, it’s due to bad sleeping habits.

Common mental health problems like anxiety and depression can often underpin sleep problems.

We can all benefit from improving the quality of our sleep. For many of us, it may simply be a case of making small lifestyle adjustments in order to help us sleep better.

Tips for Getting a Good Night’s Sleep

• Go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Even at the weekend, a predictable schedule sets your body’s internal clock to expect to sleep at a certain time each night. If you feel you haven’t slept well, resist the urge to sleep in longer than normal, getting up on schedule keeps your body in its normal wake-up routine.
• Create a bedtime routine. Ease the transition to sleep by engaging in relaxing activities beginning an hour or so before bedtime. You could have a bath, do some light reading or listen to soothing music.
• Make your bedroom a comfortable environment for sleeping. It should be cool, dark, and quiet.
• Deal with stressful tasks earlier in the day or evening. It may be harder to relax and go to sleep if you engage in demanding tasks, like paying bills or dealing with a difficult parenting issue, just before bedtime.
• Write down your thoughts and worries and things you need to do the next day. This will help clear your mind and reduce worry.
• Get regular exercise. Daily exercise can help you get to sleep faster and to sleep better. Just be careful not to do it close to bedtime as exercise produces stimulants that stop the brain from relaxing quickly.
• Limit caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, and other substances that may keep you awake. Stay away from these when it’s close to bedtime and limit any consumption of caffeine to 6 to 8 hours before you want to fall asleep. Caffeine and nicotine are stimulants that make it harder to sleep and alcohol interferes with sleep quality.
• Watch what and when you eat at night. Finish your evening meal several hours before you go to bed and avoid food that you know upset your stomach and could keep you awake.
• Don’t watch the clock. Keeping an eye on the clock when you want to fall asleep (or when you wake up in the middle of the night) can increase stress and make it harder to sleep. Turn your alarm clock’s face away from the bed. If you use a phone alarm, set your phone face down.
• Limit electronics at bedtime. Be careful about television, radio, and computer activities just before bed, as they may be overly stimulating, particularly due to the blue light that electronic devices emit. Don’t bring your tablet, phone, or other electronics to bed.
• If you can’t get to sleep within 20 minutes of going to bed or if you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep. Get up and do something relaxing until you feel sleepy again. Try reading or listening to soothing music. Or use mindfulness meditation techniques. Just remember to keep the lights dim so that you don’t signal your body that it’s time to wake up.

If you’re experiencing sleep problems, you may want to talk to your GP. Many sleep problems are temporary and go away on their own, but some may be related to depression, anxiety, or chronic pain, all of which can be treated with professional help. If you have sleep problems that last longer than a week, see your GP.

Sleep and working shifts

Shift workers often face challenges in relation to their sleeping patterns and eating habits.

Shift work is harmful to sleep. Our body’s internal clock is designed for us to be active in the day and asleep at night. This is known as the Circadian Rhythm, which controls our sleep, body temperature, digestion, heart rate and blood pressure to keep our bodies synchronised through the day-night cycle. Working shifts can work against the body’s natural programming, particularly in relation to sleeping and eating.

For night shift workers daytime sleep can be 1.5 -2 hours shorter than sleep at night. Daytime sleep is less efficient that night-time sleep as you’re constantly battling against disturbing factors, such as light and outside noise. With around 4 million people working night shifts, it’s important that those who do understand the importance of sleep and do what they can to achieve better daytime sleep.

Lack of quality sleep can lead to all sorts of issues in the workplace including poor concentration, absenteeism, accidents, and errors.

Things you can do to help when working a night shift

When you are at work

• If it’s possible, take a 20-30 mins nap during a work break.
• Only use moderate amounts of caffeine in the early part of your shift.
• Get some exercise and only eat light, healthy meals and snacks during your shift.
• Keep the work environment brightly lit.

During your commute home

• Wear sunglasses or amber tinted glasses to block out the sunlight when outside.
• To reduce the potential for driving when sleepy, get a lift, use public transport, or take a taxi.
• Avoid caffeine.

When you get home

• Prioritise your sleep, avoid running errands or doing chores after your shift.
• Don’t use alcohol as a sleep aid.
• Turn off your mobile before going to bed.
• Alter your bedtime a few days in advance of a change in your work shift.

At bedtime

• Keep your bedroom cool and dark.
• Use earplugs or a white noise machine.
• Wear an eye mask or use blackout curtains or blinds.

Other tips

• Use powernaps as these are a great way to top up the energy levels, 10 to 20 minutes is enough to do this.
• Help prepare the body for shift work with extra sleep, so the day you start try and get an extra two-hour sleep.
• When finishing a shift pattern, wake up two hours early to help assist the body get back into a day/night sleeping routine.

For more information:

NHS Sleep Guidance

British Snoring & Sleep Apnoea Association

Sleep Apnoea Trust

This article was published on Tue 16 Jul 2024. At the time of publishing, this article was true and accurate, however, over time this may have changed. Some links may no longer work. If you have any concerns about this please contact us

Most people experience grief during their life, when they lose someone important to them. If these feelings are affecting you, there are things you can do that may help.

Signs and symptoms of grief

There is not a correct way to feel when you are grieving.  Bereavement, grief, and loss will cause different symptoms and they affect people in different ways. Some of the most common symptoms include:

• Shock and numbness
• Overwhelming sadness
• Tiredness or exhaustion
• Anger – towards the person you’ve lost or the reason for your loss
• Guilt – this could be due to many things, including not being with the person when they died, not saying something to them, or not being able to stop your loved one dying.

These feelings may not be there all the time and powerful feelings may appear unexpectedly. For more details click here.

Looking after yourself following a bereavement

• Take care of your wellbeing: make sure you get enough sleep, eat regular meals, rest, and relax
• Be clear on expectations: make sure you know what is expected of you and whether it is realistic
• Exercise: all exercise, including walking, running, and cycling can help you relax and increase wellbeing
• Talk to others: make time to talk to your family and friends about how you’re feeling, or if you would find it easier contact Cruse 0808 808 1677.

Explain to family and friends what they can do to help, don’t be afraid to ask for practical support.

Try to keep to a regular routine of getting up and dressed and eating meals at the usual time, whether you are on your own or part of a family group. The structure will help, even if only a little.

You may find you have days when you have more energy, and the grief isn’t as consuming – this is normal. Some people can feel guilty when this happens, but there is no need. It is all a normal part of grieving. Equally if you are really struggling that is also normal. Please don’t feel guilty or angry with yourself.

What to say when someone is grieving

It is normal to feel worried about saying the wrong thing to the bereaved, but it is more important that you say something than finding the perfect words. You may find the tips below useful:

• It is important to acknowledge their loss and offer your condolences, saying how sorry you are that their friend or family member has died.
• The bereaved may want to talk about the person and tell you stories, they may cry through these stories. You may find this really hard to hear but just being there and listening can be a great comfort. You can’t fix their pain, but you can listen.
• Don’t be afraid to ask more about the person who has died. Allowing the bereaved person to talk and share their feelings with you can make a real difference.
• Ask if there is anything practical that you can do to help at that time.
• You could also signpost the bereaved to services such as Cruse for them to access support.

Helping children to cope with death

Children and young people need to be given the opportunity to grieve as any adult would. But it is also important to remember that children and young people grieve in different ways. A child’s understanding of death and the nature of their bereavement will be different at different stages of development. Children will experience both physical and emotional reactions to death. Emotional reactions may include shock, denial, anger, depression, guilt. Physical reactions may include disturbed sleep, loss of appetite, challenging behaviour, and developmental delays.

Useful links:

• NHS Children and Bereavement
• Child Bereavement UK Resources for children and young people
• Cruse Bereavement Care Helping children to cope with death – how to help a child or young child

Some key points to remember concerning children, young people, and grief:

• No bereaved child or young person will respond to the death of someone close in the same way.
• Keep the structure of the bereaved child or young person’s day/night as routine as possible.
• Allow the bereaved child or young person to say how they feel and do not be offended if they are angry with you or do not want to talk.
• Give the bereaved child or young person the time to explore their grief and support them as they mourn.
• Do not feel that you have failed if you need to seek professional help for the bereaved child or young person. You are doing the right thing.
• Put in place appropriate boundaries if a grieving child or young person is hurting themselves or others and explain why such boundaries are necessary.
• Do not dismiss a bereaved child or young person’s real or perceived illness.
• Talk things through with them in an open and honest way, remembering to listen to the child or young person.

What to do when someone dies

Working out what to do first when someone dies can seem overwhelming. Besides letting family and friends know, there are several organisations you need to notify when a person has passed away. As well as arranging the funeral and dealing with the financial affairs of someone who has died.

Useful links:

• Gov.uk What do I need to do if someone close to me dies? What to do after a death
• Money Savings Expert – What to do when someone dies
• Which – What to do when someone dies
• Money Advice Service – What to do when someone dies
• Citizens Advice – What to do after a death

Everyone responds to death differently there is no right or wrong way to respond. If you have experienced the loss of a loved one you may need to access professional support. Similarly, if you are supporting someone who has been bereaved you may need support for yourself, especially at this present time when there is so much in the news about death and dying and many of us are feeling anxious. You can access support from the services below:

Where to get help:

• NHS
• Cruse Bereavement Care
• Dealing with Bereavement and Grief. Call the free helpline on 0808 808 1677 or email: helpline@cruse.org.uk

This article was published on Tue 16 Jul 2024. At the time of publishing, this article was true and accurate, however, over time this may have changed. Some links may no longer work. If you have any concerns about this please contact us

International Day of Friendship is a day to appreciate and promote friendships from all backgrounds. It is celebrated across the globe on 4 August 2024, the day promotes the idea that friendships between peoples, countries, cultures, and individuals can inspire peace and build bridges between those communities.

It was introduced in 2011 as a UN initiative to reject poverty, violence, and human rights abuse and to promote peace, security, and social harmony. For more details click here.

Friendship requires empathy, compassion, and concern for other people. By valuing and celebrating friendship, we develop these characteristics ourselves and adopt a more selfless and grateful outlook on life.

Why are friendships important?

Evidence suggests there are 5 steps you can take to improve your mental health and wellbeing. One of which is to connect with others.

Connecting with the people around you, your family, friends, colleagues, and neighbours are key to your overall wellbeing. These relationships will support and enrich you.

Good relationships are important for your mental wellbeing. They can help you to build a sense of belonging and self-worth, give you an opportunity to share positive experiences and provide emotional support and allow you to support others.

For more details on the 5 steps to wellbeing click here.

The benefits of friendship

There are many benefits of friendships – there is a distinct connection between wellbeing and friendship, in simple terms good friends are good for your health. They help you celebrate the successes in your life, as well as providing a listening ear and support network when you experience lows or in times of need.

Maintaining significant relationships in our lives brings numerous health benefits, such as increasing our self-esteem and confidence, reducing our stress levels, and boosting our sense of purpose and belonging.

As well as the wellbeing benefits that friendships bring, our friends help us become more well-rounded individuals. For example, through our relationships with others we learn about different cultures, beliefs, and languages.

As our lives progress, many of us find it difficult to develop new friendships. This is often because of new priorities that require our focus and attention, such as work, childcare, or carer responsibilities. In addition, your long-lasting friendships might become strained due to you relocating to a new community or simply because of changes in your lives and interests. The result of which can have negative effect on your mental health and wellbeing.

How to celebrate International Day of Friendship

• Find out about other cultures: The world is getting smaller and smaller. The population is growing yet we can all communicate with each other instantaneously. This is a great thing as we have access to so much knowledge at our fingertips and can chat with people from different cultures as easily as we can chat to the person in the next room.
• Spend time with friends and family: In our busy lives, we often forget to pause and reach out to those who are closest to us. Take some time on this day to do this. If you can’t see a friend, ring them up for a chat or reach out to someone who you’ve not spoken to for a while.
• Use this day of Friendship to slow down a little and catch up with the friends and family you maybe neglect a little with your busy schedule: Get together, either virtually or in real life to enjoy each other’s company. By making this time to be social, you’ll strengthen the bonds that hold your friendships together, and make a positive difference to the lives of people who care about you.

This article was published on Mon 17 Jun 2024. At the time of publishing, this article was true and accurate, however, over time this may have changed. Some links may no longer work. If you have any concerns about this please contact us

Every year in July, Samaritans branches in the UK and Republic of Ireland hold local events to raise awareness of Samaritans. They are here to listen to anyone who’s struggling to cope, at any time of the day or night.

Samaritans are encouraging people to become better listeners. Samaritans Awareness Day on 24 July is a great time to start and pledge to become a better listener. Click here for more details.

Taking care of your mental health

Taking care of your mental health is as important as taking care of your physical health.

Mental health problems affect around one in four people in any given year*. They range from common problems, such as depression and anxiety, to rarer problems such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

Like adults, the emotional wellbeing of children and young people is just as important as their physical health. Good mental health will allow them to develop the resilience to cope with life’s ups and downs and to grow into well-rounded, healthy adults.

For more details on supporting your children, read our Children’s mental health guide here.

It is important that we all as individuals do what we can to look after ourselves and each other. You may also have concerns about how others are coping.

Starting a conversation with someone around their mental health can feel daunting. You may be worried that you will say the wrong thing but remember saying nothing is far worse.

The more conversations we have about mental health the more barriers we can break down and the closer we’ll come to ending mental health stigma and discrimination.

Here are some tips on helping others:

• Ask others how they are feeling.
• Ask someone twice how they are feeling, this will give them the opportunity to be honest and to realise that you genuinely want to know.
• Listen and don’t judge, it’s great that people are happy to talk to you about how they are feeling, so ensure you really listen to them.
• Ask how long they have felt this way. Ask if there is anything you can do to help.
• Ask what support they need. Provide them with details of professional organisations, who may be able to help.
• Treat them in the same way, don’t change the way you act towards someone once you are aware of their poor mental health.
• Little gestures can have a big impact, this may be just meeting for a cuppa or going for a walk together.

Becoming a better listener can help you support loved ones who may be struggling to cope. You could help your loved ones talk about how they’re feeling by improving the way you listen. It can also help improve your relationships with family, friends, and colleagues. Here are some tips on becoming a better listener.

Listen without being distracted – choose a suitable setting for the conversation and ensure you have plenty of time. Reduce distractions, by putting your phone away and focusing completely on the other person. If you’re talking to someone on the phone, try doing it in a quiet place.

Listen without interrupting – try and remember that pauses are fine, you don’t need to fill any silences. Be empathetic and take them seriously.

Body language – keep your body language open and non-confrontational and maintain eye contact.

Check in on loved ones – if you’re concerned about a family member or friend, try to check in with them once or twice a week. Sometimes it can take a few tries to get someone to open up about how they’re feeling, so don’t give up.

Listen and communicate non-judgmentally – when we listen to another person it can remind us of elements of our own experiences. We then form opinions and make judgements on that basis. The more aware we become of this, the easier it is to pay attention to what the person is trying to say, instead of what we think they are saying. Communicating without judgment is essential to create a supportive environment. Summarising back what they are saying shows that you’re listening.

Don’t give advice – instead share sources of support, where necessary signpost to their GP and discuss self-care.

Research has shown that emergency services workers are twice as likely as the public to identify problems at work as the main cause of their mental health problems, but they are also significantly less likely to seek help. So, it’s even more important to look after your own mental health when working on the frontline.

Here are some tips:

Think about your purpose: Be clear about why you are doing this job.

Be clear on expectations: Make sure you know what is expected of you and whether it is realistic.

Keep your boundaries: Establish clear boundaries between work and personal life, don’t take work home with you.

Talk to colleagues: Make time to talk to your colleagues about your experiences and share fears and concerns.

Value your own family and relationships: While work is important, your family and relationships need to be valued.

Exercise: Regular exercise can boost your self-esteem, can help you concentrate, relax, and increase your overall wellbeing.

Get plenty of sleep: Sleep helps regulate the chemicals in our brain that transmit information. These chemicals are important in managing our moods and emotions and an imbalance in those chemicals can result in us becoming depressed or anxious. Read our sleep guide here.

Eat well: A balanced diet that is good for your physical wellbeing is also good for your mental wellbeing. Your brain needs a mix of nutrients to stay healthy and function well.  Read our healthy eating guide here.

Avoid alcohol: The numbing effects of drinking are only temporary. It’s advised that if you do drink, that you stay within the governing bodies recommended unit guidelines.

Keep in touch: It’s good for you to catch up with friends and family face to face or over the phone.

Take a break: A change of scenery or pace is good for you.

Do something you’re good at: Enjoying yourself can help beat stress

Care for others: Supporting others uplifts you as well as them.

Ask for help: If at times, life gets too much for you, it’s important that you speak to someone, this may be a family member or trusted friend, your GP, or a professional organisation, see the list at the end of this guide for details.

Mental health conversations have the power to make a big difference, but sometimes these conversations can bring up some difficult things that people may not have spoken about before.  This might mean that they need some support.

If you feel a loved one, colleague or yourself need additional support, contact a GP, a counselling professional or one of the organisations listed here:

• NHS
• Samaritans
• Mind
• Anxiety UK
• Mental Health Foundation

It’s important to start talking about money worries before your situation gets worse. Talking about money will give you the confidence to get help and find out who can best advise you on any problems. It can give you a great sense of relief to share your problems, so you’re not facing them alone. It’s important to seek professional advice as soon as possible and not wait until it’s more difficult to find a solution.

Worrying about money can negatively affect your mental health and for those people experiencing mental health problems it makes it harder to manage their finances.

Problem debt can also be linked to suicide. For more information read our suicide awareness guide here.

We’ve teamed up with PayPlan**, one of the UK’s leading free debt advice providers, who offer free and confidential advice to anyone in serious financial difficulties.

They’re able to advise you on a range of debt solutions suited to your individual circumstances, helping to protect you and your family with a sustainable way to manage your debt. Get free and confidential help to combat your debt, call PayPlan** on 0800 197 8433.

* Time to Change. Attitudes to Mental Illness 2014 Research Report**PayPlan is a trading name of Totemic Limited. Totemic Limited is a limited company registered in England, Company Number: 2789854. Registered Office: Kempton House, Dysart Road, PO Box 9562, Grantham, NG31 0EA. Totemic Limited is authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority. Financial Conduct Authority Number: 681263.

This article was published on Sat 01 Jun 2024. At the time of publishing, this article was true and accurate, however, over time this may have changed. Some links may no longer work. If you have any concerns about this please contact us

Wellbeing and health are topics that are often over-looked by men. Men’s Health Week is a great time to think about your overall wellbeing. This year the theme Let’s talk prostates (and everything else men’s health!). For more information click here.

Did you know:

• 1 man in 5 dies before age 65.
• 75% of premature deaths from heart disease are male.
• You can have an NHS health check from age 40.
• Women live longer than men.
• 4 out of 5 suicides are male.
• Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 49.
• Men between the ages of 18 and 44 are less likely to go see a doctor than women.
• 67% of men are overweight or obese.
• Middle-aged men are twice as likely to have diabetes as women.
• Men are more likely to drink alcohol to dangerous levels.
• Men are twice likely to have liver disease.
• When men do use therapy, it is at the point of crisis.
• Men are more likely to smoke

It is vital that men start to feel more comfortable talking about their health and wellbeing.

Physical Health

The main physical health issues that men face are:

According to the UK Government website 1 in 10 men aged 50 have a heart age 10 years older than they are.  Cardiovascular disease (CVD), with stroke and heart attack being the most common examples, is the leading cause of death for men and the second leading cause of death for women. A quarter of CVD deaths are in people under the age of 75, with 80% of these preventable if lifestyle and behavioural changes were made to improve their heart health.

According to Cancer Research UK men are more likely to get cancer than women, and also more likely to die from the disease.

Testicular cancer  is the most common cancer of 25 to 45-year-old men (but it happens to younger and older men too). Typical symptoms are a painless swelling or lump in one of the testicles, or any change in shape or texture of the testicles. It’s important to be aware of what feels normal for you. Get to know your body and see a GP if you notice any changes.

Prostate cancer is the most common cancer in men in the UK. It usually develops slowly, so there may be no signs for many years. Symptoms of prostate cancer do not usually appear until the prostate is large enough to affect the tube that carries urine from the bladder out of the penis (urethra). When this happens, you may notice things like:

• an increased need to urinate
• straining while you urinate
• a feeling that your bladder has not fully emptied

These symptoms should not be ignored, but they do not mean you have prostate cancer. It’s more likely they’re caused by something else, such as prostate enlargement. See a GP if you experience these symptoms.

Diabetes is a lifelong condition that causes a person’s blood sugar level to become too high. There are 2 main types of diabetes:

• Type 1 diabetes – where the body’s immune system attacks and destroys the cells that produce insulin.
• Type 2 diabetes – where the body does not produce enough insulin, or the body’s cells do not react to insulin.

Type 2 diabetes is far more common than type 1. In the UK, around 90% of all adults with diabetes have type 2. Men are more likely to develop type 2 diabetes than women.

Tips for staying healthy:

• Drink less than 14 units of alcohol a week (equivalent of 6 pints of average strength beer).
• If you smoke, STOP! On average a cigarette smoker will die 10 years younger than a non smoker. For help stopping smoking click here.
• Eat at least 5 portions of fruit and veg a day.
• Walk 10,000 steps a day.
• If it comes in brown choose this over white (rice, pasta, bread).
• Drink at least 2 litres of water a day.
• Aim to do at least 150 minutes of moderate exercise a week.
• Regularly have your cholesterol and blood pressure checked.
• Aim to get 7-9 hours of sleep each night (or day if you are working nights).

Mental Health

One in four people will experience some kind of mental health problem in the course of a year.

For many of us talking about mental health is difficult and often men find this even more difficult. It’s hard to put how you’re feeling into words. Remember you can be strong without being silent.

As a police officer your role is to serve and protect, this means that you are less likely to ask for help, as you think it’s seen as a sign of weakness. We all need to stop thinking that talking about emotional or mental health is a sign of weakness. Police officers are dying because they aren’t asking for or getting help.

Research has shown that emergency services workers are twice as likely as the public to identify problems at work as the main cause of their mental health problems, but they are also significantly less likely to seek help.

If you’re struggling with your mental health, help is available:

• Samaritans
• Mind
• Shout

Stress and anxiety are normal. It’s what we do about it that matters. There are various steps you can take to cope with being under pressure, remember, different things work for different people.

• Identify your triggers and take control – working out what triggers your stress can help you anticipate when you may feel stressed and what you could do about it in advance.
• Organise your time – making some adjustments to the way you organise your time can help you feel more in control and able to handle the pressure you are feeling.
• Be active – exercise can help clear your head and then let you deal with your problems more calmly. Go outside to exercise, as fresh air and spending time in nature can really help.
• Talk to other people – friends, family and colleagues can help support you through the stress you are feeling, you may even have a laugh and start to relax. You may also want to consider talking to a professional counsellor.
• Do something you enjoy – spending time doing something you enjoy will take your mind off how you are feeling. Everyone needs to take time for themselves, it can be as simple as having a bath or reading a book.
• Avoid unhealthy ways to cope – many people use alcohol, smoking, chocolate, and gambling to try and relieve the stress they are feeling, none of these things will help in the long term, use healthy coping strategies like going for a run, listening to music, or walking the dog.
• Challenge yourself – learning new skills and setting yourself new goals will help build your confidence and make you feel good about yourself.
• Help others – people who volunteer in the community or for a worthwhile cause tend to be more resilient.
• Try to be positive – think of all the things you are grateful for, write down or say out loud 3 things that went well each day.
• Address some of the causes – where possible improve some of the issues that are putting pressure on you.
• Accept the things you can’t change – it’s not easy but accepting that there are some things happening to you that you can’t do anything about will help you focus your time and energy elsewhere.

For more details on looking after your mental health, read our guide here.

To read our stress awareness guide click here.

Financial wellbeing

Worrying about money can be extremely stressful and may lead to mental and physical health conditions.

According to the 2023 Police Federation of England and Wales Pay & Morale Survey:

• More than half of police officers are not able to cover their monthly essentials and are
  worrying about money ‘daily’ or ‘almost every day’.
• Nine in ten of respondents reported that their cost of living had increased in the last month.

Being in debt causes stress and worry which can lead to mental health problems. Research by moneyandmentalhealth.org found that nearly half of those in England in problem debt also suffer from poor mental health.

Individuals with multiple debt problems are at a ‘significantly high risk of suicide’ than those with just one problem debt.

If you’re struggling with debt or finding it hard to manage your finances, then we’re here to help. Read our debt awareness guide here.

If you are struggling with gambling, call the National Gambling Helpline (24 hours) 0808 80 20 133 or read our guide here.

This article was published on Sat 01 Jun 2024. At the time of publishing, this article was true and accurate, however, over time this may have changed. Some links may no longer work. If you have any concerns about this please contact us

Healthy eating week is a great time to think about improving your diet. Poor nutrition and obesity are becoming more common in the UK. According to Public Health England nearly 2/3rds of adults in England are classed as being overweight with more men likely to be in this category than women.

Being overweight can cause various health concerns and according to Cancer Research UK, overweight and obesity is the 2nd biggest cause of cancer. Keeping a healthy weight reduces the risk of 13 different types of cancer. Diabetes and heart disease are also other conditions that you have a higher chance of developing if you are obese.

It is therefore important to ensure you are eating a balanced diet. This guide will give you some tips on how to achieve a healthy diet.

How can you improve your eating and drinking habits?

Eat at least 5 portions of fruit and vegetables each day (this can include frozen & dried). This will not only improve your nutritional intake, but also many fruits and non-starchy vegetables such as grapes, watermelons, tomatoes, and lettuce, contain a lot of water and can help keep you hydrated as well.

When eating carbohydrates, choose whole grains and high fibre versions with less added fat, salt and sugar and more vitamins. Eating whole grains instead of highly refined grains can help reduce the risk of heart disease and diabetes and can support a healthy digestive system.

Ensure you are getting a good source of protein like lean meats, fish, eggs, dairy products, soya, seeds and nuts and beans and pulses. Reduce the amount of processed meat you are eating, these include sausages, bacon, cured ham, corned beef, and smoked meat. Try to eat 2 portions of fish per week, at least one of which is oily.

Be aware of your sugar intake. Eating too much sugar can cause weight gain and tooth decay, so moderation is key.

Some studies believe that sugar can be incredibly addictive, so keep track of how much sugar you are adding to your food and drinks. Look at information on nutrition labels and ingredients lists to help reduce your intake of sugar. High sugar intake is linked to numerous ailments, including obesity, type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and many forms of cancer.

A lot of products have been choosing to replace their sugar usage with sweeteners and this is where diet drinks have come from. Sweeteners are a minimum of 200 times sweeter than sugar and can be as much as 700 times sweeter. This means that less can be used in foods, therefore we consume less product overall. Sweeteners are much better for you from a dental health perspective. However, the research around obesity and weight gain is not clear. It is therefore best that sweeteners included in your diet are in moderation.

We all know that it’s important to keep hydrated and to drink more water. Water is good for your health, drinking 8 glasses of water each day is recommended to maintain good health, which is around 1.5 to 2 litres.

When choosing what to drink, consider the nutritional benefits. Sugary drinks can often be your biggest source of sugar intake. The soft drinks industry levy or sugar tax was introduced in April 2018 as a key part of a government strategy to tackle childhood obesity.

Flavoured water is often promoted as a healthier alternative to fizzy drinks but that’s not always the case. Even though they are zero or low calories, these drinks can be loaded with sugar, artificial sweeteners, artificial colouring, preservatives, and other unnatural ingredients. One easy way to ensure tasty water that’s naturally flavoured is to make it yourself.

DIY infused drinks add nutrients to your diet that can strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, kick start your metabolism and help you maintain a healthy, hydrated body. You could try using cucumber, lemon, lime, mint, ginger, basil or even a cinnamon stick.

Swap caffeine and alcohol with water. Caffeine and alcohol are both diuretics, meaning that they cause your body to remove fluids from your blood at a much quicker rate than other liquids. This results in the body becoming dehydrated.

Alcoholic drinks contain almost twice as many calories as protein and carbohydrates they also contain calories from other sources, which add to overall caloric intake, e.g., Cocktails, mixers, spirits. Alcohol loosens the inhibitions and therefore you are more likely to indulge on unhealthy foods. If you’re drinking and then you don’t feel well the next day, you’re going to be less likely to be physically active. When you drink your body is more focused on breaking down alcohol rather than burning fat.

Recommended Daily Allowance

Food labels use reference intakes to demonstrate the amount of calories you should eat each day. The intake for an average adult should be:

• Saturates – less than 20g
• Carbohydrates – at least 260g
• Energy – 2000Kcal
• Fat – less than 70g
• Total sugars – 90g
• Protein – 50g
• Salt – less than 6g

Poor nutrition or malnutrition is caused by a person’s diet lacking the right amount of nutrients. Malnutrition can refer to undernutrition, which is not getting enough nutrition and over nutrition, where you are getting more nutrients than you need.

Malnutrition can lead to a range of serious health conditions, including:

• Type 2 diabetes
• Cardiovascular disease
• Obesity
• Depression
• Bone and joint issues
• Tooth decay

It’s important for you to be aware of the symptoms of poor nutrition and dehydration.

These include, but are not limited to, dizziness, dry skin, nausea, and heart palpitations. If you notice any of these changes occurring, you need to be proactive and take some preventative measures to avoid malnutrition by having a healthier, more balanced diet.

Tips if you are trying to lose weight and want to reduce hunger cravings naturally

Some foods are high in soluble fibre which form a gel in your bowels, making you fuller for longer and helping to clear cholesterol from your blood. Eat oats, barley, rice, golden linseeds, chia seeds, aubergine, okra, bananas, apples, citrus fruits, strawberries, prunes, plums, avocados, pears, carrots, broccoli, sweet potatoes, and onions. Food such as meat, fish and diary don’t contain any fibre as this only comes from plant foods.

• Keep it simple and don’t fall prey to fad diets.
• Aim for a protein source at every meal to combat the hunger cycle.
• If you don’t exercise often, look to make movement part of your day.
• Avoid drinking sugary drinks where possible, as it is common to underestimate how many calories and how much sugar a drink can contain. Look out for ‘no added sugar’ drinks.
• Feel empowered, not overwhelmed, if you are trying to switch to a healthier diet take it one step at a time and in moderation. You will be more likely to stick with it. Be patient losing weight will take time.
• Set realistic goals, to maintain a balanced nutritional diet and fit in regular exercise. Start by making small changes such as walking daily.
• Try using a health and wellbeing mobile App, to keep track of your calorie intake and water consumption. Make sure you celebrate your milestones.
  

Food and Stress

You have both physical and psychological relationships with food. Your physical relationship with food is based on the types of food you choose to eat, your eating behaviour, or habits and how your body responds biologically to your diet.

Your psychological or emotional relationship with food is based on how you think about food, how you use food for reasons other than to relieve hunger, and how food relates to your body image, or the way you feel about how you look.

In order to get control of stress eating, you have to control your stress levels.

Read our stress awareness guide here.

5 ways to manage food consumption when stressed

1. Know your stressors
2. Exercise to reduce stress
3. Reach out for help
4. Develop a practice of mindfulness
5. Learn intuitive eating

This article was published on Sat 01 Jun 2024. At the time of publishing, this article was true and accurate, however, over time this may have changed. Some links may no longer work. If you have any concerns about this please contact us

We all feel lonely at times, it is a natural emotion. By building a greater awareness and acceptance of loneliness, we can help ourselves to manage the feeling.

Loneliness awareness week is hosted by Marmalade Trust. Their aim is to reduce the stigma of loneliness. The aim of this week is to raise awareness of loneliness and to get people talking about it. The theme this year is Random Acts of Connection.  For more details of the week click here.

Loneliness is affecting more and more people in the UK and has had a huge impact on our physical and mental health especially during and since the pandemic. The connection to other people and community is fundamental to protecting our mental health.

Most people will feel lonely at some point in their lives, regardless of age or background. It’s a deeply personal experience that in most cases will thankfully pass. But for a growing number of people, loneliness can define their lives and have a significant impact on their overall wellbeing.

Loneliness will be felt differently for everyone, it may still occur when you have loving support around you. It’s not always the number of social contacts but the perception of those relationships that count. Feeling lonely is different from being alone.

Things you should know about loneliness

Loneliness is a natural feeling

Most of us will experience loneliness at some point in our lives. Loneliness doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you, it’s just your body’s way of letting you know that you’re not getting your social needs met. Like hunger telling you to eat. You shouldn’t feel embarrassed or shameful about being lonely.

Loneliness can affect you at any age

It is generally thought that the older community are more likely to feel lonely, but this isn’t the case, people aged 16-24 are now the most likely group to be affected by loneliness.

There are various reasons for feeling lonely

Certain life events, such as a bereavement can trigger such feelings, even if other family members rally around in support.

Loneliness can be caused by many other things including leaving the workplace, children or friends moving away, debilitating health condition or illness, no longer being able to participate in normal hobbies or activities and lack of access to transport. Emotional loneliness can happen in relationships and families, where you have people in your life, but you don’t feel close to or understood by them.

We are all different and you may not know someone is feeling lonely unless they tell you.

Loneliness is temporary

You may not realise it if you are feeling overwhelmed by loneliness, but it won’t last forever and you can take steps to feel better.

Loneliness should improve with time. However, often it’s advisable to address the situation in the early stages to prevent it becoming a chronic issue. Loneliness is now being recognised for its damaging effects, such as mental health conditions, cardiovascular issues, and sleep problems, it is therefore important to try and overcome the feeling of isolation.

Loneliness is not a mental health condition, however, if left unchecked, loneliness can start to affect both our mental and physical health.

What can you do if you’re feeling Lonely?

• Catch up with friends – Connecting with the people around you, your family, friends, colleagues, and neighbours are key to your overall wellbeing. These relationships will support and enrich you.
• Make new friends – Join local groups or classes based on your interests, not only will you be doing something you enjoy, but you’ll meet new people with similar interests.
• Help others by volunteering – Giving to others is a great way to boost your wellbeing. It can give a sense of purpose and create feelings of positivity. It is also a great way to meet new people whilst helping the local community.
• Do things you enjoy – Plan your week to include activities that you enjoy and make you feel good.
• Learn a new skill – Continued learning throughout your life helps to enhance your self-esteem and encourages social interactions.
• Spend time outdoors – Fresh air, natural light and exercise combined are great for our mental health. Whatever the weather it’s great to get outside.
• Focus on the positives – When you are feeling lonely, you can sometimes be in a negative frame of mind. Thinking about the good things in your life, remembering happy times or identifying at least one thing each day to be thankful for can help you to think more positively.
• Look after yourself – Self-care is essential. Make sure you are sleeping well, eating healthily and being as active as possible. Prioritise looking after yourself.
• It’s good to talk – If at times, life gets too much for you, it’s important that you speak to someone about how you are feeling, this may be a family member or trusted friend, your GP, or a professional organisation.

However lonely you are feeling, there is always something you can do to feel better. Loneliness Awareness Week is a good time to start to make a positive change.

Useful links

1. NHS
2. Samaritans
3. Mind
4. AnxietyUK
5. Mental Health Foundation
6. Marmalade Trust

This article was published on Sat 01 Jun 2024. At the time of publishing, this article was true and accurate, however, over time this may have changed. Some links may no longer work. If you have any concerns about this please contact us

Carers Week is an annual campaign to raise awareness of caring, highlight the challenges unpaid carers of all ages face and recognise the contribution they make to families and communities. For more details click here.

The theme for Carers Week this year is ‘Putting carers on the map’. The aim is that people looking after family members or friends, and the challenges of caring should be recognised in all areas of life.  Caring should be valued and respected by everyone in our society, and carers should have access to the information and support they need, where and when they need it.

A carer is anyone who looks after a family member or friend who has a disability, mental or physical illness or who needs extra help as they grow older. Caring’s impact on all aspects of life from relationships and health to finances and work can be significant. Whilst many feel that caring is one of the most important things they do, its challenges should not be underestimated. Caring without the right information and support can be tough.  It is vitally important that we recognise the contribution carers make to their families and local communities, workplaces, and society, and that they get the support they need.

Caring for someone has many positive and rewarding aspects to it and it can be the most loving thing you can do for someone else. It can, however, also be challenging, leaving you feeling exhausted and in some cases can be extremely lonely and isolating. If you find you are struggling it is important to ask for help and support.

Caring for elderly parents

Our parents bring us up and do everything for us when we are children, so it can come as a shock when they start to require care themselves. As people age or develop disabilities, you may need to ask for help to take care of elderly parents.

Persuading parents to accept help can be difficult, but it’s important that everybody is open and honest about their hopes and fears. Explain to your parents that you are worried they are struggling to manage.

A big decision you and your parents may have to make is about whether they will receive at-home care or if they will move into a residential care home, this may consist of sheltered housing, assisted living or a nursing home. Talk to specialists and those involved in your parents’ care, such as their GP, any social workers involved or staff at care homes. Ensure you involve your parents and ask them their views.

Caring for someone with dementia

Caring for someone with Dementia can be daunting, challenging, and exhausting. Here are some things to consider:

• Accept support – this support may come from other members of your family, a professional or a support group. Just don’t be afraid to accept or ask for help. This help will allow you to take a break and have some time to yourself.
• Be empathetic – as a carer compassion and empathy are at the heart of what you are doing. Be patient and understanding, don’t criticize and judge.
• Look after their overall wellbeing – make sure the person with dementia regularly has their physical health monitored and ensure they receive the appropriate health advice or treatment. It’s important they remain active, eat a balanced diet, and get enough sleep.
• Dementia Specific Support – seek out advice, support, education, and training. This could involve investigating local services, joining a social or peer support group.
• Be positive – focus on their strengths and think about what they can still do, rather than what they can’t. Prioritise things that bring them peace and joy and avoid negative comments.
• Be realistic – those with dementia will have good and bad days. Be realistic about the course of the disease, remember that most types of dementia are irreversible and progressive.
• Plan ahead – when caring for someone with dementia things will change, so you should prepare for a time when their loved one may need more care than you can provide, this may be provided from a professional coming into your home each day or with your loved one moving into a residential setting. You will need to prepare yourself for this emotionally and plan financially for this change.

For more information read our guide here.

Caring for someone with a disability

Looking after someone with a physical disability can be physically demanding for you as a carer. An important part of your role is to make sure the person you care for has the best quality of life possible by helping them to be as independent as possible.

There is no ideal way to care for someone with a disability. Each person is different, each with a different disability.  Here are some things you can do to help make life as a carer that little bit easier for you both:

• Take time to understand their illness or condition – the term disability is varied. Its therefore important for you to research the disability itself to help understand the challenges it’s likely to present. This knowledge can help you empathise more with your loved one.
• Focus on their abilities rather than their disabilities – when caring for a disabled person at home, it’s easy to focus on what they can’t do and do it for them. In order to be as independent as possible, it’s important to try to encourage them to do as many of the things they can themselves, and only step in when they really need help.
• Think ahead – all types of disabilities will present unexpected challenges every day. Planning for emergencies in advance can enable you to respond as well as possible to the unexpected.

If you can its useful for you to attend health appointments with your loved one where possible, taking a list of questions with you so that you can be fully informed.

Another thing you might want to think ahead about is making legal arrangements. For instance, has your loved one made a Will and do they have power of attorney in place.   

Young carers

A young carer is someone under 18 who looks after a parent or another family member who is ill or help them by looking after other members of the family while they can’t. They take on physical and emotional duties like bathing and dressing of the person they are caring for or cooking meals for younger siblings and helping them to get ready for school and bed each day.

It can be hard work, scary at times and isolating and may lead them to miss school or being bullied.  Many young people cope well with caring, especially if you have support from other family members, but it’s important for them to look after themselves. This may involve talking to a teacher or school counsellor.  There is also lots of organisations providing help, like Young Minds and Barnardo’s.

Financial assistance for carers

Having the right financial aid can really help when caring for a loved one at home. There are a range of different benefits that offer that little bit of extra support, including:

• Carer’s Allowance – if you care for someone at least 35 hours a week and they get certain benefits you could get a weekly allowance.  You do not have to be related to, or live with, the person you care for. For more details click here.
• Carer’s Credit – a National Insurance credit that helps with gaps in your NI record. You’re eligible for this if you care for someone at least 20 hours a week. For more details click here.
• Disability Living Allowance for Children – may be payable if you care for a disabled child. For more details click here.
• Carer Premium – which is an additional premium on top of other benefits you can claim. The benefits you can claim the premium on include universal credit, income support, Jobseeker’s Allowance, employment support allowance, housing benefit, pension and tax credits, and council tax. For more details click here.

Additionally, depending on your age and circumstances you may also be entitled to Pension Credit and additional local welfare assistance. Click here for more information.

Caring for yourself

Caring can be both physically and mentally exhausting, you may be getting up several times in the night, you may have to lift an adult who is heavier than you, or you may be juggling caring whilst also holding down a job. You may also have the emotional distress of seeing a loved one suffering.

It is important that you take care of your own health, even if you are busy looking after someone else’s health. Being healthy is not only important for you, but it also helps the person you care for too.  Remember you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Caring for others can be extremely stressful and may lead to mental health conditions including depression. The tips below may help:

• Eat well
• Sleep well
• Enjoy some time for yourself
• Get exercise when you can
• Consider trying a meditation or mindfulness
• Write in a journal about what you are going through and how you feel
• If you are working request compassionate leave or flexible working

Recognising your own needs will help you balance caring with the rest of your life; it will also ensure you are physically and mentally well enough to care for your loved one as well as you can.

As a carer you may experience a range of emotions, including feelings of isolation, anger, guilt, stress, and fatigue. All these feelings are natural but to overcome them, some of the tips below may help:

• Talk to others in a similar situation or join a support group
• Seek out the national organisation devoted to the condition or illness that you are dealing with
• Ask other members of the family for help to give you a break and avoid burnout
• Speak to a counsellor, therapist, or your GP about how you are feeling
• Try to set some time aside for yourself every day and do something you enjoy

Support & Sources of Information

• NHS
• Gov UK
• Carers Trust
• Young Minds
• Barnardo’s
• Age UK
• Carers UK
• Citizen Advice